Common Sense of a Duke’s Daughter - Chapter 211

Love … Why do you have to blame yourself Iris… I wonder if I learned it at that time when I was in love with Ed. Love makes people foolish… I fell quickly and drowned in it.
Nothing more than despair awaited me from it. … And the same as now I also wished at that time for the other party to love me as I love them. For myself, so the what happened with Ed doesn’t happen again … no, no more. I must stop. I want to let go of him, I want to forget about his existence, but at the same time I want to make him drown in my feelings, I want to make him recognize me and love me … Yes, I hoped… I hoped… Without thinking about the other person’s intention. Even now, I’m only thinking about my feelings.. that’s right. Expecting love from him and loving him without permission and feeling angry if I didn’t get what I wanted. … It seems that my behavior is not different from a child who can not get the toy he wants. Before I knew, Tanya was walking behind me. She did not say anything and was chasing me the entire time from when I got up from the First Prince table. When I noticed I was standing close to the entrance… Oh, I must have come back unconscious … Although my head was occupied heavily with thoughts, my chest feels lightly now. I gently strike my hand against the chest. … I lost it! The pocket watch that I’m always wearing is now lost. To that fact, I quickly paled up. “Lady?” I stopped suddenly, she noticed my change in the complexion and Tanya cried. “… Tanya … I’m sorry but I left something important behind. Will you go get it?” “But… Milady you’re not okay now… I can’t leave you alone…” “Please, by all means, I do not want to lose it, but I can’t go back to that place… I’ll be waiting around here, please.” There is no consciousness of the rare weak figure I’m exposing right now. But … that thing, is so important to me, to the extent I’d do anything for it. “… I am afraid to go back there, please bring it to me Tanya…” She doesn’t want to leave my side so she showed a conflicted face for a while … but, at the end she said okay. “Okay…” I saw her off from behind. And waited quietly on the spot. Unintentionally, I put my hands on my chest. That gesture is like a habit to me. …… Really, how strange. Even if that pocket watch comes back, so what of it? … Rather, the happy past that accompanies it is only painful for me now to remember it. I vaguely look at the garden facing the corridor. So, people were close to me all the time while I was talking with him. While I was thinking that, I suddenly heard footsteps..
It’s really early for Tanya to have come back already.. When I turned back to see if it was Tanya and if she found it, it was Dean who was standing there. Before I had the chance to ask him why he’s here… he took my hand and walks away pulling me. To this unusual fortune, I am confused and I can’t keep up with the present situation. When we entered a nearby vacancy room, he lets go of my hand.